Minor Improvement?

Well, let me start by saying that I expect to be judged very harshly by some for the thing to which I am going to admit. I have a little secret that I have gone to great lengths to hide from a lot of people. Well, it's no secret that Stinks McGhee has huge ears. The secret is about how I am going to cure this minor problem.

I went online and I bought a kit that will help make my Stinks' ears not stick out so far. It was not quite a suggestion from my pediatrician, but he did mention it as something that a crazy and neurotic person might consider. (That's how I knew he was subtly suggesting it to ME, in particular.)

You may be wondering what a person could do to their baby's ears to make them less "bat-like". Well, all you need is a little thingy that looks like a pipe cleaner made of silly putty and some really sticky tape that costs about a hundred dollars.  (Note to self: Check the exchange rate BEFORE buying an item online in a foreign currency.)The answer is EarBuddies. You just stick the pipe cleaner thingy around the curvy part of the outer ear and then tape the whole darn ear flat against the head. 

Just. Like. That.

So, yeah, that's the secret. I've taped my baby's ears down to his head and he often wears a hat these days. I don't post pictures of him on Facebook right now and I make sure he wears a hat when we have take his brother to the pediatrician so that the doctor doesn't report me to the family social workers. I mean, it was kinda his suggestion and all, but I think he'd deny it. Good news is I only have to do this for the next, oh, four months.  But, it says right on the package that a few millimeters can make a dramatic difference in appearance. So...yeah. Millimeters. And even if I decided right now to unleash those floppy bad boys...I can't because the flippin' kit cost me a hundred dollars. Sorry, Stinks. Maybe you'll thank me one day?