Smarty Needs Some Training

Okay, so you guys remember Smarty, right? She's the sassypants girl who lives across the street and Doof's big sister-ish kind of friend. Good. So, Smarty's momma works her butt of providing for her family and I like Smarty because she provides great blog material is just as crazy as the rest of us. Anyway, I got the opportunity to pet-sit at a friend's house and this friend has a pool. A real pool. A really clean pool. (No way am I going to a public pool. All that pee. Teenagers doin' it in there. Babies without those tight plastic diapers. Sweat. Snot. Spit. Okay, I have to stop.) This pet-sitting gig was divine timing because it was hotter than a hundred hells this weekend and even the balmy water was better than no balmy water. So, I took Doof and Smarty and Stinks with me over to the house to swim and whatnot. Again, perfect because said house also has a baby bed for Stinks to nap in. Not sure why that's important to this story...but okay...Smarty needs some diversity training.

Exhibit A:
For some reason Doof has it in his mind that you cannot see him once he goes "under the dark water". Never mind that the pool is clean and the water is clear and the bottom of the pool is a pale blue or that Doof is BLACK. Smarty goes along with it for a few minutes. She likes to join him in his fantasy world from time to time. She is a few years older than Doof and I like to think she finds it freeing to go back in time a few years and play pretend. But, you know....there's only so much she's willing to put up with. So, there's Smarty on the diving board. She's looking toward the shallow end where Doof is sinking under the water and jumping back out saying over and over again, "Smarty! Can you see me? Smarty! Can you see me under the dark water? Smarty! Smarty! Can you? Can you?" Finally, she has had enough. "YES! I CAN SEE YOU, CHOCOLATE BROWN!!!! GAWD!"

Exhibit B:
Same day. Same pool.
Smarty: Hey, Ms. ______(oh my gosh. what am I going to call myself on this blog?)_____, did you say that your friends are going to adopt a brother and a sister?
Me: Yes.
Smarty: What color are they?
Me: Uuuuummm...you mean their skin color? They're bi-racial.
Smarty: What's that mean?
Me: Their mom is white and their dad is black.
Smarty: Oh yeah. I've seen those kinds of kids. They have weird, fuzzy hair.

Exhibit C:
Same day, again. Same pool.
Me (more to myself than anything): Man, Stink's ears are still so floppy. I wonder how long until the cartilage hardens.
Smarty: Well, at least his nose isn't connected to his mouth.

Smarty, really? So, I jokingly mention this to Smarty's mom and her response?
"She said CHOCOLATE brown. That's a compliment. She loves chocolate."

Wonder where she gets it.